butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
