Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
