Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
