Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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