It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
