I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
