when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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