And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
