We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
