I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
