btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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