my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
