i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
