you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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