Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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