Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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