My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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