it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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