what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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