In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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