I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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