Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
