what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
