Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
