How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
