she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
