I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
