you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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