Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
