saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
