I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
