so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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