while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
