like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
