you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
