I just threw up on my dentist
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
