How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
