she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize