all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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