I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
