you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
