the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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