That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We got so high we made milksteak
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want her autograph on my taint
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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