what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
