Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
