i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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