Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
