I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
