that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
