how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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