i jhust puked up my retainher.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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