google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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