I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
